After it was reported that Caitlin received thirty-three emails demanding my removal from her blog, seventeen of which asked specifically for my home and work locations, as well as the type of car I drive, I decided to answer all of you, because it is important to get back to your fans. Or, at least that’s what my agent says, and he does take 10% of my earnings so, you know…he probably doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Anyways, to all the questions that most frequently came up in the fan mail, here are the answers:
I’m glad I was able to answer all of your major questions, and for those that didn’t get their answers, I apologize, but we’ve got a job to do here.
- No…Well, only if it rains, but besides that…Yes
- Peanut Butter, all over the place. Because then you know you did it the right way.
- Like if you took a wet towel, rolled it up, and instead of squeezing the contents on the ground, poured them all into a glass and drank only half, leaving the rest out for a day before putting it in an empty bottle of Snapple and trading it at work for an apple and a pepper-jack cheese-stick
- Sometimes sandals, but if only I’m getting a haircut that day
- George Clooney, because he would treat me right, obviously
I’m glad I was able to answer all of your major questions, and for those that didn’t get their answers, I apologize, but we’ve got a job to do here.
The Grand Budapest Hotel (Or Why Less Wes Is a Mess)
He's The Director...Oh look, it's that asshole VoldemortHe played the fish in Finding Nemo. No, not that one, the other one | In my last blog I went over what I believe are the five types of movies that generally show up at the Oscars, or specifically in the Best Picture category. I failed to mention that there could be multiples of these movies, and even though my contract does not let me legally describe certain movies on this blog, I will say that my agent agrees with me on this premise. And remember, he earns his money off of me, so it’s not like he just says yes to anything I say or do. For this second attempt, I’m going to be discussing The Grand Budapest Hotel, which was directed and written by one of my favorite filmmakers today, Wes Anderson. The film’s main actors, among a very large, typical Anderson-ensemble, are Ralph Fiennes and new Anderson-ie (Andersonite? I should know this, right? You’re wrong, my agent just told me I’m perfect) Tony Revolori, who’s newest movie, Dope (link provided!) has been getting good reviews from Sundance. Or after it played at Sundance…you know what I mean. The plot of the movie was inspired by early 20th century author Stefan Zweig’s life & writing, with Anderson citing the books Beware of Pity and The Post Office Girl as the titles where he took the primary material of The Grand Budapest Hotel from, besides elements taken from Zweig’s personal life. For the film’s synopsis, I’m not going to waste my or your time and write my own explanation. This is directly from the film’s IMDB page, which is linked here: “The adventures of Gustave H, a legendary concierge at a famous hotel from the fictional Republic of Zubrowka between the first and second World Wars, and Zero Moustafa, the lobby boy who becomes his most trusted friend.” Now, you may be mad at me for just using the short info from their movie page, but remember, I’m not here to go into too much detail about the film, which I told you in that other blog. I’m here to give you what I think the type this movie is, explain the likelihood it wins the Best Picture, and, most important of all (to ME!!) give my opinion on why you should see it, and what it means to me. So, let’s get going than, shall we? | This is the real author...Hey, did you know this guy is in Dope? No?From The Pianist to The Predator:The Adrian Brody Story |
For starters, this is not in any way, shape or form the “Public Favorite”, regardless of the upset (yes…it was an upset…) that the movie pulled off at the Golden Globes, taking the Best Picture for Musical or Comedy. And it isn’t a “Front Runner” either, because that, at least this year, belongs to Boyhood and Birdman, and if you think differently, then you are probably part of that other camp (this individual's camp...).
The Grand Budapest Hotel doesn’t actually fit into one category on its own in reality, taking a percentage from the remaining three: “The Feel”, “The Names”, and “The Classic Academy Movie”. I’d say, after the watching now a couple of times, that it probably has 10% of “The Classic”, 60% “The Names”, including the Director himself, and 30% “The Feel”. The movie itself is interesting and carries well, and, most importantly for the average moviegoer, runs smoothly. There aren’t that many hiccups throughout.
However, I say that “The Names” carry the movie because that is what got it into Oscar Contention, at least for Best Picture. There is just no way in hell that a Wes Anderson movie will beat Birdman (over my and Riggan's bodies...wait...maybe just mine...I mean, what really happened, right?) this year, or Boyhood even, and that’s because The Grand Budapest Hotel is just another Wes Anderson film…and trust me, I’m not complaining whatsoever.
The Grand Budapest Hotel doesn’t actually fit into one category on its own in reality, taking a percentage from the remaining three: “The Feel”, “The Names”, and “The Classic Academy Movie”. I’d say, after the watching now a couple of times, that it probably has 10% of “The Classic”, 60% “The Names”, including the Director himself, and 30% “The Feel”. The movie itself is interesting and carries well, and, most importantly for the average moviegoer, runs smoothly. There aren’t that many hiccups throughout.
However, I say that “The Names” carry the movie because that is what got it into Oscar Contention, at least for Best Picture. There is just no way in hell that a Wes Anderson movie will beat Birdman (over my and Riggan's bodies...wait...maybe just mine...I mean, what really happened, right?) this year, or Boyhood even, and that’s because The Grand Budapest Hotel is just another Wes Anderson film…and trust me, I’m not complaining whatsoever.
The first Anderson movie that I saw in theaters was The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. I was with my dad and we were two of the seven people in the theater, and we both loved it. It was funky, had a huge cast just like The Grand Budapest (with most of the same people actually) and was the right amount feel-good mixed with Portuguese-sang David Bowie that it made me dive deeper into what was already out there from Wes Anderson, which included, among other things, Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, and The Royal Tenenbaums. All of these films are excellent, in case you wondering. Rushmore a little more than others, for obvious reasons…but that’s for another blog.
Life Aquatic was followed by The Darjeeling Limited (my favorite for my own reasons), coupled with the short Hotel Chevalier (it’s relevant. Caitlin didn’t believe me and then Natalie Portman showed up, naked (yeah, a little bruised and with a shaved head, but I mean…aw hell, what do I care, no one reads this stuff) and I couldn’t remember what she said next. But I do remember this: it was and still is relevant, even if she won’t admit it), then Fantastic Mr. Fox, Moonrise Kingdom and, finally, The Grand Budapest Hotel.
I honestly can’t remember a director having that successful of a stretch of movies, at least considering my tastes in film. But, that’s the point of why this movie won’t win Best Picture. Take away all the awards, the nominations, and you’ve got a typical Wes Anderson picture. Take the sledding scene, when Gustave and Zero are chasing down Willem Dafoe’s sinister Jopling. If that appeared in any other movie, we’d be confused as the audience. However, in a Wes Anderson film, it’s all part of the process. We’re supposed to be having a fun experience, regardless of what’s actually going on.
I’m done, for now, but I have three more things I want to say. First: I would’ve given Fiennes the nomination for Best Actor over Steve Carrell in Foxcatcher. Second: If you watch The Grand Budapest Hotel, which you should, remember to give the rest of the Anderson Collection an opportunity. It isn’t just that the movies are good, but it truly is how they make you feel. With so much depressing films coming out this year that were nominated, and there were, trust me, The Grand Budapest stands out as something that you can watch and be happy about watching. But that’s just what my agent told me to say.
Life Aquatic was followed by The Darjeeling Limited (my favorite for my own reasons), coupled with the short Hotel Chevalier (it’s relevant. Caitlin didn’t believe me and then Natalie Portman showed up, naked (yeah, a little bruised and with a shaved head, but I mean…aw hell, what do I care, no one reads this stuff) and I couldn’t remember what she said next. But I do remember this: it was and still is relevant, even if she won’t admit it), then Fantastic Mr. Fox, Moonrise Kingdom and, finally, The Grand Budapest Hotel.
I honestly can’t remember a director having that successful of a stretch of movies, at least considering my tastes in film. But, that’s the point of why this movie won’t win Best Picture. Take away all the awards, the nominations, and you’ve got a typical Wes Anderson picture. Take the sledding scene, when Gustave and Zero are chasing down Willem Dafoe’s sinister Jopling. If that appeared in any other movie, we’d be confused as the audience. However, in a Wes Anderson film, it’s all part of the process. We’re supposed to be having a fun experience, regardless of what’s actually going on.
I’m done, for now, but I have three more things I want to say. First: I would’ve given Fiennes the nomination for Best Actor over Steve Carrell in Foxcatcher. Second: If you watch The Grand Budapest Hotel, which you should, remember to give the rest of the Anderson Collection an opportunity. It isn’t just that the movies are good, but it truly is how they make you feel. With so much depressing films coming out this year that were nominated, and there were, trust me, The Grand Budapest stands out as something that you can watch and be happy about watching. But that’s just what my agent told me to say.